Today, the Heart feels...

What a weekend! I thought all settled, but still...there's more. I think God wants me to endure all these hardship to make me a better person and to let me know how hard life really is when you have to consider someone else besides you. It's not a negative thing...but it's a learning phase in my life.

I am so touched and also bewildered for the fact that he stays with me although I have hurt him so much. He has done a lot for me and no one has ever been that way to me, ever. I am saddened by the fact that I can't give so much...that I can't give everything that I wish I can give. But I am trying my best to do what I can, to be there for him and not to hurt him in any way. Yes, I know I am human, and I don't know what my mistakes are. Although I try to be perfect for him, there is no way I can be, right? Gosh, why can't I be what he wanted me to be? Okay, okay. Because I am me. Salwa also have told me that I don't have to pretend. Just be me. Gosh, I love him more than I ever loved anyone...

Reality check ILynn! Anyway...today is Mom's birthday. Wished her already...yea! Since being with him, I have been trying to not quarrel with my family. Or maybe it's also the fact that I don't go back home as often anymore (and my money is getting lesser by day). But all in all, I'm glad that there are very less shoutings at home (except from the ever tempered Dini).

Know what? I'm just contented here, now. My heart says that I'll be okay. My head always want to think. But I want my heart to give more and my head to think more of the good stuff. I think I'll just exist here and just live. Til next time...I'm signing out. ChOwWwzzZzZaaaaAa!!