Do I Have To Be Beautiful To Be Loved?

I thought of this some time ago and wrote about it. Today I finally finished the article and editing it. So, here it is.

Isn’t it ironic? People often say, “Who cares about looks?” or “Look on the inside – the heart.” But realistically, they don’t do that. As beautiful as the world may seemed (if you’re an optimistic person), it is merely stereotypic and pressurised. We have heard so many kinds of motivational talks telling us to be confident in ourselves and to shut all these naughty ramblings on being physically perfect. Yet, they only work for about a week or two and after that, we are back to being pressured. It is sad because it just seemed as if we are all being judged by our appearances. Why can’t we just be ourselves and the rest of the world just accept it? I guess the world is becoming shallower day by day.

It is not a crime to be vain. Whether they are men or women. However, I found that men often complained on women being too dressed up or simply when a woman tries to make herself up. But they are contradicting their own selves. If you ask them what kind of women they want, I can tell you that 95% say they want good-looking women. So what will happen to the others? Well, some ended up with the other 5%, some grow old alone and for some, dedicated themselves to career. Now guys will say, ‘What about women? They are the same too. They search for the best things in men.’ Yes, they do. But despite that women will still consider the inside. And when we manage to look deeper into one man’s heart and know him as whom he is, then only we decide whether to stay or go (doesn’t matter how handsome he is).

In my experience, when I was still immature in all this relationship thingy, I used to look at good-looking men. But never once in my life did I score them. Okay, my last ex was cute. But I only go out with him because I really liked him for who he is. I haven’t had many exes, just two. I won’t touch about the other one though, who is a very hypocrite guy. I did have many affairs – the type where you are in the process to get to know each other and then suddenly, it did not work out. And they are also cute guys. I must have a thing with cute guys…hmmm… But one thing for sure, I prefer cute than handsome. =)

Back to the topic, I don’t want people to judge me by looks. Seriously, I don’t like it when people compliment me with words such as “You’re cute”, “How come a pretty girl like you don’t have a boyfriend?” or anything related to that. I might feel flattered but I don’t really like it. Because that, has already shown how people judge you. For all I am concerned, I am neither pretty nor beautiful nor a ‘Hot Chick’. I like to be simple, I like others to see me as the real me and not judge me by appearance.

I have found that they are so many women out there who try hard to please men. Come on, you can look pretty and nice, but do not overdo it. I mean, what is up with all those skimpy clothes that make you look like a slut? Do you do this because of the attentions of men? Of course, they will drool over you and all. But it doesn’t mean they will pick you up for a long term relationship. My friend said to me, “All these girls are just made for playing. If I want a wife, I’ll go for that kind (pointing to an innocent looking girl with tudung).” That’s the reality but I have also met some who doesn’t really care. Most men want girls who are supportive of them, giving cares and loves.

Now, the perspective of being beautiful equals to flawless zitless face and thin bodies, are emerging. Women are pressured by the thoughts of having model-like figures. To say that I am not influenced is so not true. Being one, I can’t escape from it. Everybody will have a say on parts that they don’t like about themselves. I do admit that I’m not excluded. But I don’t want to be loved by my physical. Of course, first attraction is looks. But after that you’ll realized you go deeper than that. You tend to have a liking for a person because of his/her personality.

Attention is far from what I am seeking. Sometimes I like to better my appearance in order to look presentable and to instil confidence in myself. But other than that, nothing. I even feel insecure at times when random people are looking at me. So, no attention for me. To others, I’ll just present myself and no one else. And in relationship, I believe I have grown. I will love a person for who he is and love him because of God. I try to accept people as who they are because I want others to do the same to me. I don’t want to have to look beautiful to be loved. I want people to like me on the inside. I just want to be loved by being who I am. And that what matters most.