I hate crying!

I don't know why. But I cry easily lately. Actually, I'm crying right now. Inside and outside. But I have to cover it because my friend is here, she is sleeping in my room now.

I've been thinking lots of serious things. I cried the other day because I miss him so much and because I was having these scary thoughts. I cried for two days. Now I'm crying because of what he said online. I don't understand. Why am I such a crybaby?!?! Is it because of too many things in my head? Is it because of my unbalanced hormone? Is it because of PMS? I don't know...

My heart feels..I don't know..I can't explain. I guess it feels like a knife is slicing my heart...I was doing something that I was forced to do. It's not like I want to go out, it's not like I'm so happy to do it. And then, he gave me a cold shoulder. I know he always does that when he's not in a good mood. But not now. I noticed that I am very fragile these few days. Seriously I don't know why...it could be something got to do with my hormones? It can affect your moods.

I love him soo much. I'm not the easiest person to be with. But he's the only one who can handle me. And since being with him, I have changed, according to my friends. And they stated that it's good. I've changed from my old ways...although slowly. I've tried to be a great gf to him. I've tried to be the very best that I can to him. And you know what? He makes me good again. Now. Online. God...I love him! ♥