Try better

I should be more considerate and understanding of my bf's position. I am trying to be better than the person I am. I still lack in some qualities and today, I had a test of that. At first, I was kind of down on some things that happened. But later, I realize that I have to understand. And that is what I am going to do.

You know, maybe I expect too much from him. Of course, as a woman, many people said I should. And most people think so. Because guys, simply, cannot have a girl too easy. That is why a girl's virginity is a treasure. That is why a girl is so protected by her parents.

Anyway, I am trying not to expect too much of him. I know a LOT now. I HAVE to be independent. What if someday, the unexpectable happen? What if, the thing I wanted to happen quickly will in the end, take many long years to fulfil? I know that I have to depend on myself. But somehow, I feel that I am helpless in all this. I depend too much on him. Is this right? Deep down I know that I have to plan something to make my future secure.

So, okay. I will try and try to be more independent and of course, more understanding of his situation. I have to get rid of my too manja self. I mean, manja is okay...when it's with your loved one but too manja? No-no. I have to find a way to motivate myself to be more and more dependent on MYSELF.

End.