Mmmmm....MoooViiiieeee~~

Haven't write for a long time..
and I'm going to start writing here from now!
Hopefully! ;)

Anyway,
I so so soooo want to watch this movie!!
Getting so hooked up by watching the trailer.
And the plus factor: MCDREAMY!
Ooowwweeeeeeee!!

Yang, Enchant me!
Ihik!

provide me with love, pls!

Work is aging me. Fast.
Being home late at night everyday is draining my energy.
Moreover, I am a morning person.
I'm not used to waking up at 11 or 12 in the afternoon.

The people in my team has been here for more than a month.
And I'm the newest childborn at only a week old.
How am I supposed to catch up with all of them?
Having had their training and all.
I am only a week old and now they're expecting me to walk all by myself.
With no time to relax, with no formal training and all.

This may be what people call: a test for me to get through
But I have to admit, that I am pressured right now.
I have no confidence and faith in myself.
Yes, although I told myself before that I'm going to improve on this...
But I seemed to fail every time!

I was hoping he would calm me down with his soothing words...
Not try and make me feel more like this useless person that has no self-confidence...
with low self-esteem...
Which I know that I have all these qualities...
But to me, he's not sounding as if he's supporting me.

It may be my misunderstanding.
It might be after all, my fault.
But right now, I'm all negative.
So, anyone want to try to push me into positivity?

Dream vs Reality

At most time, I dream a perfect dream:

1. Be engaged with the person I could not live without.
2. Have a permanent job which I love with a good salary.
3. Get married with him who I choose to live with my entire life.
4. Be a great and known photographer.
5. Build my own dream businesses.
6. Have 3 kids during early age and another in my 40s.
   

Statistically, I would say my dream consist of a confidence level, 80%.

So where did the other 20% go?
That's where the reality knocks in.

1. I can't be engaged unless he has a stable income (that's according to him. I thought you can't get MARRIED unless you don't have a stable income?).
   
2. Being someone with low experience, I have to accept whatever job that's offered to me.
3. Getting married is soooo out of question now!! It'll be years before it can happen.
4. Without DSLR, how can I be that? Though I'm learning the theory, I still have to learn to handle the camera.
5. I don't have the money. But I'm going to do it someday.
6. He doesn't want 4 kids.
   

And that is why reality sucks.
But we are in it. We are not living in a dream.
Well, unless if you're Siti Nurhaliza (I really dislike her, but you have to admit, she's living a dream) or Maya Karin aka the Malaysian Princess (oh, how she really is THE Malaysian beauty!).

But yes, learn to be thankful.
Like my cousin said to me, Bersyukurlah ILynn (Be thankful, ILynn).
And so, I am.
At times I feel like the hard life is on me, but I should remember that God never gives us things that we cannot handle.

So, I believe that one day I will have that dream. With 80% confidence level, it is almost as if I WILL be living it. Who knows?
Once you learn to be thankful in your current life, you might have a great satisfaction in the end.
So, Be Thankful.

Don't ask me

I don't know how sex feels like

ok?

Boom!

I love romance!

It makes my heart go boom-boom-boom!

Yeehahhh..and love goes bloom.

(Apa yang aku merepek ni?)

I'm outta my mind.

Bye.

Modern

I have to tell myself everyday that it'll be 5 freaking long years before the big thing happen.
I so badly wanted it to happen quick but he keeps me guessing with his attitude that it's not going to happen any sooner.
I have to remind myself that it'll be 5 freaking long years to keep myself from exaggerating of our 'big day'.

I'm not wanting this merely for the sake of being married or whatsoever.
I am sure I can go through whatever obstacles that'll come after that.
It's just the whole modern world thing.
I dislike modern. Modern smells filthy to me.
Sex is so open nowadays that people don't think twice before doing it.
I don't want to go into that. But the devil's desire is increasing.
I am a muslim. And I want to preserve that.

So, I don't think marriage is a wrong thing when you're young.
You just have to have support, faith in each other and God, and go through it just fine.

But yes.
Modernisation is cruel.
Shit.

I hate love

When you're hurt, you don't want to see that person who hurts you.
But when he calls, you don't have the heart to reject his calls.

I hate love.