just a day

Apparently, my Animation cls on Thursday has been cancelled. I guess because we have started on lab. So I am here, waiting for my 12 o'clock cls. Then, I'll be free for 2 hours and up to my next cls at 4pm.

I'm bored and writing now just for fun. Life is as usual. Going through the time so slowly. Yesterday, I slept early and caught myself waking up almost every hour. I called my bf few times and he didn't picked up. He slept like a log! I was worried of what could happen to him and all (because I thought he went for Futsal)...but was relieved when he did finally wake up at 730 am this morning. Fiuh! I was so glad nothing happened.

So, we went for breakfast and we were thinking of going to the movie. Unfortunately, we both have class today. Maybe tomorrow? Hope so! =) It's been quite some time since we went to watch movie.

Gosh, my back shoulder hurts. Hey, I think I better go. I need to do some stuff. See ya then? ChOwWwzZZzaAAa!!

Trial times

When someone tells you that you're not matured yet, what do you feel? Especially when it's from someone you love? Hurt? Well, that's exactly how I feel when I get the 'you-are-not-matured' talks. I remember few weeks ago when I feel nothing about it. You can say to me that I am not matured whatsoever...and I couldn't care less. But now, the words hit me quite hard sometimes. I kept asking myself, 'Why?'. Why, all of a sudden, I started to feel these things? I wish I have the answers now and I wish that I'll get out of it soon.

Anyway, it's 230 am here in Malaysia...and I actually get on the Net, after waiting for my father to finish, with intention to online with my bf (since he told me to go online). But when I did, I found out he was asleep and too lazy to go online. Kinda hurt a little when he is not responding to anything I said to him while on the phone...but I guess I was being too sensitive and selfish.

Just like my last post, I am still on trial times right now. Things are up and down. Sometimes I feel easy and sometimes I feel hard. Nothing is smooth sailing when 'the weather's' down. And I have to be patient in enduring that, bcoz apparently 'the sky' is not in a great mood for me.

I have tried to be the greatest person...and I have been my best the past few years. It's just that this lately, I don't feel like I am. I have been neglecting my home friends, having the 'green' feeling too easily, being suspicious of ppl, etc etc. I don't get out as much as I did before. I don't go to my theatre meetings anymore, I don't hang out with my guys, I seldom hang around with the girls... And all this, is doing nothing good to my self-esteem.

I realized that I don't want to lose touch with my life. I used to have so much fun with all the guys and girls. I was so independent and cheerful all the way. Am I losing that part of my life now? You know what? I think I will have to re-order my life! I can't just be sitting here, wondering what I should do, thinking about my life and do nothing. I will take an action of getting my life back in order and inject some perspective to it. How's that sounds for a starter?

Okk..time for me to take a nap. See you in the next post. ChOwwWwzZZzaAAa!!!

Early test

I realize that it's getting harder and harder to try and live my life like a fairytale. I forgot for a while that in reality, happiness doesn't stick forever. These lately, some things have been happening. Maybe it's because of my sudden sensitivity towards every little thing or maybe it's because of tested patience etc etc. But what is true is that all that is happening are meant to test me.

I missed hanging out with my guys dearly...but being a university student, with much work to endure, it's getting hard for us to group together. Moreover, I now have extra responsibility so I have to consider the extra too. I've been drifting away from the guys...but I really miss them.

Relationship with my bf is going good, but there are trial times that I find it hard. I've been very sensitive lately and is trying to get out of it. He's been having his temper but I don't know what he is doing to control it. I hate it when we get into fights because it never failed to hurt me but somehow, relationships are meant to have them. It's quite puzzling. Why can't we have a very peaceful relationship? Anyone have them?

I'm concern with money also. Trying to get Mom to bank-in money into my account is such a hard thing to do. She still thinks we're in an era where we can have some things for a cheap price. Well, not everything Ma! And I dislike the fact that she thinks I'm supported by my bf. Come on, I'm not married yet! Wait til I get married and all your 'banking-in money for Liyana' will not be of your concern anymore! Gosh, can you feel the tension now?

And one more thing. I am a little jealous because my sister got into a course which I so badly want to be in since I was little. Well, thanks for me being the eldest, I have to take up somthing got to do with computer! Not that I dislike computing, but I want to do journalism so bad! I love writing!! Grrrr!!!

Okk2...it's 10pm. The lab is closing. I better go. Guess I have to go through these life tests my own way. Huh. ChOwWWwZZzzaAAa for noww!!!!